Movie Reviews

Warrior Review

Tom
Hardy is every bit the rising cinematic powerhouse audiences anticipate,
but with weak performances all around him and poor character
development, among other principals, Warrior falls flat on the mat. As high as Warrior sails
on the wings of a dynamic and memorable performance by Tom Hardy as
Tommy Conlon, it fails in every other filmmaking aspect. Tommy Conlon,
the youngest son of an alcoholic (Nick Nolte), returns home where he’s
trained by his father for Sparta, a mixed martial arts tournament. His
entry into the fight puts the fighter on a collision course with his
underdog estranged older brother (Joel Edgerton) who signs on for Sparta
to keep his house from foreclosure. The men battle their pasts and
themselves as they attempt to reconcile the people others think they are
and their true identities.

Shark Night 3D Review

Shark Night 3D, seen in 2D, is a stereotype-riddled, slightly-above-average teen horror movie. This PG-13 story takes the route of Deep Blue Sea and expands on the terror of Jaws. It contains usual teen clichés of excessive drinking, drug use and nude scenes. 

The Debt Review

In hands these talented, The Debt oozes with tension and poses tough questions about truth, but were it not for a key reveal/plot twist, the point would have almost been entirely lost.

Colombiana Review

Colombiana is as inept a movie as I’ve seen in a long time. The film does virtually nothing right. The acting is wooden, the writing is atrocious and there’s little action to be found, actually. We’re supposed to care about this heroine, but everything about her story is clunky and unoriginal.

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World Review

Hopes were not high coming into Spy Kids: All the Time in the World.
It is the fourth movie in a franchise suffering from diminishing
returns, plus it was using the stupid idea of smell-o-vision. And this
family movie does not disappoint.

Marissa
Wilson (Jessica Alba) is a top OSS spy who retires after capturing a
super villain, Tik Tok, and starts a family with her husband Wilbur
(Joel McHale) and stepchildren Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil
(Mason Cook). A year later a new villain has emerged, the Time Keeper,
who speeds up time using the Armageddon Device to punish humanity for
wasting time. Marissa is called back by the OSS director, Danger D’Amo
(Jeremy Piven), to recapture Tik Tok which should lead them to The
Timekeeper. But the Timekeeper sets out to kidnap Rebecca and Cecil
because Rebecca has the only thing that could stop the Armageddon
Device.

Conan the Barbarian Review

How do two white Cimmerians produce a Hawaiian baby? What’s the name of Topless Wench # 6? Why do mobs always line up one by one to fight a guy rather than all taking him on at once and thus defeating him? These are just some of the questions Conan the Barbarian will draw out of viewers this weekend.

Jane Eyre Review

Fukunaga’s (Sin Nombre) gripping and photorealistic take on Jane Eyre, which arrives on DVD and Blu-ray today, doesn’t exactly provide an amazing revelation for bringing the story back to life, but it does prove that no classic can be so overdone that it becomes untouchable

Final Destination 5 Review

It’s terrible to have your high hopes dashed by a terrible movie experience. Unfortunately, Final Destination 5 will do just that for its small dedicated fanbase. Unlike the previous sequel it is not as self-aware or funny. Though it warms up near the end of the film the opening sequences and first few deaths are neither elaborate nor creative.

30 Minutes or Less Review

Ruben Fleischer, who landed squarely on the Hollywood directing hot list with 2009’s rollicking sleeper hit Zombieland, has crammed the action and laughs into another unusually short runtime. The narrative of Zombieland is much tighter, but 30 Minutes or Less still packs the laughs into a sufficient summer action comedy.

The Change-Up Review

To name an R-rated buddy version of this formula The Change-Up is essentially serving up a thick slice of irony, yet somehow The Hangover writers and Wedding Crashers director manage to change just enough to prevent predictability from drowning their film entirely.