The upcoming Friends with Benefits is just one in a slew of romantic comedies where sex (casual or otherwise) between friends is at the center of its story. They’re all the same story, with the same characters and the same outcome: sex! Here are a few recommendations to have or make a friend with 'benefits'.
Conversation
You’re
not going to get anywhere by just jumping on your friend, unless you
want to end up in prison and make a “different” sort of friend with
benefits. If they are your true friend, you need to be able to talk to them and listen to their feelings. Have some wit, timing and above all, tact before you dip your toe in the
water on the topic of sex and gauge their reaction. If they show a
response that doesn't make them dive under the covers (or does it...?)
then both of you are free to guide anything into a conversation about
sex. And absolutely anything can be spun (hehe) sexually. You can
respond in such ways as:
"So what'll you do now?"
"More like who I'll do."
"I'm going for seconds."
"I like your enthusiasm."
"Hey...no hard feelings?"
"......."
Skilled conversation can take you from here...
To here! Everyone wins.
Ground Rules
Since
the desire to have sex is usually a proposition/accident, let your
friend set the ground rules. The more control they feel (overt or
otherwise), the better hands you'll be in. Safe rules (but not safe
words) include: no cuddling, no gushing, no gifts, no shirts, no meeting
parents, no smiling, no cards, no laughing, no debating, no whip cream,
no Celine Dion, no political rallies, no ABC holiday specials, no
novellas and no Brett Ratner movies. Obviously, this list is tailored to
my own tastes just like yours will be--though the Brett Ratner one
should be universal. Get these ground rules identified between the two in the early stages of your friendship. If you do become an
item, at least you have a better understanding of expectations.
"Can I at least audition for the next 'Batman' movie?"
"No."
Attitude is Key
Do you want to establish a relationship or casual sex? For casual sex, you have to act very casual, have non- committment energy and be spontaneous.
"Oh God, he's doing the Elbow. Don't make eye contact."
Flirt Openly With Others
Casual = non-exclusive. Enjoy the company of your friend but don't
shy away from your sexual prowess—you are a Golden God/ess! Embrace the
attention of strangers and flirt. Date often. Let your 'friend with benefits' see you . At first, your friend will
abide by your casual relationship, applaud your conquest and maybe even
suggest a conquest jointly. Your friend
will cross the emotional border, get jealous and disagree with you. Special note: do
not hook up with exes while in a casual relationship.
Know Your Risks
Use safe sex protection and get
tested often. .
Every casual relationship is different. You're going to go into it with your own wants, just remember to have some sort of foundation in place. Set up relationship rules in the beginning. Above all, make sure you have a group of friends you're not having sex with to give you witty input while they secretly want to be you. After all, you're the one getting all the action ... right?